If we feel like we can’t do it perfectly, sometimes we freeze up and do nothing when we really should be moving along and getting things done. Why do some of us have this perfection paralysis?
I have a few ideas that may help you overcome perfection perfection paralysis.
First of all, let’s understand what it is and why we have perfection paralysis?
What is Perfection Paralysis?
Perfection paralysis is when we feel so overwhelmed we freeze up and don’t do anything we should be doing. We are overwhelmed at a task that we know we should do and we want to do but we somehow can’t get our body to move forward. In other words, our ‘hearts fail’ us.
Why do we have Perfection Paralysis?
Let’s understand our subconscious and why we behave this way? We act because of how we FEEL. We create feelings by what we think and believe. Let’s look at some possible common thoughts and beliefs that leads to perfection paralysis.
- It is too overwhelming. The task is too big for me.
- I am not successful. I am a failure. I can’t do things. With this thought and belief, the subconscious won’t do anything or if we do take some steps towards success, we self-sabotage ourselves right after we start.
- I don’t like myself. Feeling depressed and self-loathing resort to self punishment by hiding.
- I am a failure. When we fear failure we focus on failure more. Failures are punished.
- I am not enough. Hiding, avoidance, dishonest with self. I don’t want people to know that I am not enough.
- I don’t deserve to be happy yet. Not allowing ourselves to be happy, at peace or joyful UNTIL we have reached our idea of perfection.
- I don’t know what I am doing. Fear that hard work may yield no fruit.
- I might make a mistake. Don’t want to help others or try until you are completely healed, perfect, knowledgeable, or skilled yourself.
How do we resolve this perfection paralysis?
Here are my 5 tips:
- Remembering our objective of happiness in progression and rewrite thoughts and beliefs
- Clarify the definition of perfection, success, & failure
- Understand the benefits of letting go of control
- Understand the pains of not surrendering our control
- Developing a stronger relationship with God
Explanation
#1 Remembering our objective of happiness in progression and rewrite thoughts and beliefs
I believe that we are all here to learn and grow. We are not meant to be passive and stagnant. Our comfort zone will close up on us if we remain passive too long.
We are here to find true happiness.1 The greatest and most lasting happiness is found in personal progression. We are children of God with great potential. The satisfaction of achievement empowers us to creating more true and lasting joy. Achievement means we have been proactively choosing to change ourselves for the better.
We change ourselves for the better when we actively choose to rewrite our own thoughts and beliefs to align more with God.
Just know that if we get distracted with seeking comfort, the discomfort and unsettled feelings will find us and compel us to action eventually.
We are only required to make one small change at a time. Change one thought and belief at a time followed by feelings and actions.
As long as we are progressing forward our heart will feel satisfied, at peace, and content. Remember one of the greatest happiness comes service of others.
Physically our body will show evidence of progression by being healthier too. Our legs, blood, and bowels will work better when we allow ourselves to flow.
Let’s learn to value growth and progression.
#2 Clarify the definition of perfection, success, & failure
Our definition of perfection can be very different to Heavenly Father’s definition. What may seem ‘messy’ for us might be ‘perfect’ for what we need to progress.
I’ve learned that God’s definition of perfection is being complete, whole, united, and meeting His standards. Heavenly Father cares about our progression more than He cares for our comfort or outward image.
Perhaps our idea of perfection is: being able to finish, with no defects, no failures according to our human standards and measures. We measure ourselves according to our different culture and social expectations which may not always align with God’s measures.
If we can’t do things perfectly on the first attempt then it means we are failures. Some people are brought up to believe that all failures deserve punishment.
Sometimes we go as far as to judge and sometimes condemn ourselves conclusively from the fact that we didn’t meet OUR own measures of perfection. Our myopic view may cause us to get caught up and repeatedly focused with our intolerances. That intolerance leads to self punishment. The punishment, whether physically or mentally, is so severe that we may believe that we are not worthy of joy and happiness.
Through this negative cycle of associations, we may end up refusing to do things, unless we can do it perfectly on the first attempt.
Perhaps we think failures shouldn’t bother to try again or failures are unworthy of love and blessings.
Remember only God gets to decide whether you are ‘worthy’ or not. He has the final judgement not us. Be kind and loving to yourself.
Believe that you are successful. Sometimes it helps to clarify your definition of failure. I believe the definition of true failure is not trying and not progressing. As long as we are trying and striving to progress, we are not failing we are succeeding.
The truth is we are always in the middle of our progression. Each day we have opportunity to refine ourselves in one way or another. Great things are simply an accumulation of small things. Each day, just move forward a little and you will continue to be successful.
#3 Understand the benefits of letting go of control
Do you truly believe that God’s powerful and is in control of all things?2 God has foresight so He allows things to happen. He can consecrate all things for our own good. Do you trust that God has designed situations for your own good? 3
When I am connected to God, I feel confidence & peace trusting that I will eventually make the right decisions because I am divine at the core. That divinity means I have a heart compass or light of Christ, which will guide my path. When heeded, that heart compass will guide us correctly.
Because of our divine nature, I know that all things are learning opportunities for us. We are given an abundance of opportunities and blessings for our eternal progression if we just let go and surrender to God.
Letting go allows God to do this work without our interference. His work will unfold quickly and perfectly. We will feel lighter and more liberated when we allow God’s will to be done. We will have access to the divine light and wisdom of God beyond our current human limitations. We will make better choices.
Allow other people the opportunities to surrender to the divine directives too. Our job is to love and encourage others to come to God. We can be encouraging and loving of others without being pushy by being unattached to the outcome.
Letting go means we are unattached to the outcomes. Be ok with whatever the outcomes are because can’t control people. Let the results unfold as it should. Be patient with the process of God. Trust Him. God has foresight has already foreseen our shortcomings and have prepared and accommodated for them. Even if we make mistakes, it is still ok.
God always creates an outcome better than we can ever imagine with our limited understanding and current wisdom anyways. When moved upon by the spirit of God, we need to speak up and say what we must say for the love of others and in obedience to God without any fears. When we speak up and do what we are inspired to do with a pure intent, even if we don’t do it well, God will consecrate it for good anyways.
The more we continue to let go of control the more happy, alive, free, and energized we are. Look back on your life. Have some ‘imperfect’ situations came together for the best anyways? Has God consecrated those things for your own good? Can we be grateful for those things now?
Hopefully you can be inspired by the benefits of letting go of your fears, your will. and simply act according to divine directions. This will help you overcome the perfection paralysis.
#4 Understand the pains of not surrendering our control
Not surrendering our control and letting go often means we want our will to be done and not God’s will. Our interference may actually frustrate God’s work in some way and extend other’s pain by robbing them of the opportunity to learn from their discomforts.
Remember, some discomforts are good for us. When that discomfort comes from a misalignment from God, it is called divine discontent. That feeling compels us to change, seek God and find solutions.
When we help without being prompted by God, we may be unintentionally training others to reach out to other humans for solutions instead of initially reaching out to God. We should always be counseling with God. 4
Training others to rely on you too much may drain you because you don’t have enough light, knowledge, wisdom or power to fully satisfy them like God does.
This codependency can cause relationship problems but most damaging is both parties are NOT developing their faith by looking up and turning to God for divine directives.
Hopefully you can see that there is more pain in not surrendering to God then to surrender to God. Simply act on any divine directives you receive and trust that it will turn out. Don’t override these instructions with fears. That way you have overcome the perfection paralysis.
#5 Developing a stronger relationship with God
Developing a stronger relationship to God is often the answer to all problems. The unity with God should be the foundation of all things we do.
When we know God better we will know ourselves better. He will reveal to you that you are a beloved child of God and that His love and grace is sufficient for you.
Receive His love for you. Develop a love for yourself the way He loves you. When your heart is filled with that divine love, share that divine love for others.
When we have a stronger relationship with God we can see that we can choose to be happy & joyful now. We must practice happiness and joy now. We see how this is part of our earthly purpose.
As long as we are progressing towards our divine self, we are successful. When we feel successful, there is no room for comparison. You will see that we all start at different places with different advantages and disadvantages.
A strong relationship with God will help you be ready to meet God anytime. You know you are in good standing with you. You don’t have to wonder if you are worthy or not.
When you know you are in good standing with God, and your heart is filled with love, you can’t help but take actions to share that love with others.
As you keep moving forward you will overcome perfection paralysis.
Essential oil Suggestions:
I like to use essential oils to help me change the subconscious programing.
Essential oils are very concentrated plant extracts. Certified pure therapeutic grade essential oils have high vibrations and many therapeutic benefits which can support us as we make emotional and spiritual change.
Consider using some of these oils (below) to help you with perfection paralysis.
- Blue Tansy: Procrastination
- Fennel: Owning one’s power
- Cypress: Move forward
- Hope: You can overcome things.
- Dill: You can learn lessons.
- Wild Orange: You have many chances to try again.
- Bergamot: You can do this.
Need help understanding your subconscious self?
Are you new to the world of Energy Balancing? Are you new to emotionally healing with essential oils?
If you are new to all this, please book a time with me as we explore your subconscious mind.
Why is understanding the subconscious mind important?
The subconscious mind holds the belief systems from which we operate. Belief drives actions. Actions create the results of our lives. If we rely on the conscious mind to control things with sheer logic and will power, we’ll struggle. It will be difficult to make major permanent progressive changes in our lives unless we make significant changes in our belief system.
As long as the subconscious and the conscious mind is aligned, you’ll be able to make great strides in your personal progression. If there are any conflicts in the subconscious and the conscious mind, you’ll experience self-sabotage and divine-discontents.
Many times, the belief systems in the subconscious is influenced by generational belief patterns. In our session, I can help you discover some of the unsupportive cultural trappings and social dogmas you’ve unintentionally adopted. After a few sessions, you’ll hopefully be able to pick up these skills to continue to do on your own.
If you are already familiar with Energy Balancing
I encourage you to take the Energy Balancing with Faith course. This is an inspired course to help you hone your Energy Balancing skills using essential oils and other tools. Release the subconscious self-imposed limitations. Help yourself and others live an intentionally happier, healthier, and holier life.
Would you like to chat with me? Please book an Energy Balancing session.
Learn more about Energy Balancing here.
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- 2 Nephi 2:25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
- 2 Nephi 2:24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.
- Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good D&C 122:7
- (Alma 37:37)
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