Are You Afraid Of Failure?

Some people think that they are afraid of failure when in fact they really are afraid of success.  Failure is more familiar than success because success is unknown.

A friend who was severely overweight was doing very well in loosing weight. She was having some great success.  After a short month or so she was almost the lightest weight she has ever been in her adult life, she felt unwell.  She had relationship problems and more drama kept popping up in her life.  Soon she was using all that drama to justify getting back to eating her cakes and sweets again and gaining back her weight.  Even though she said she was afraid of failure, her real fear was she was afraid of success.  She was fine with failure because she already felt like a failure, so when she ‘failed’ she simply accepted it.  Have you ever yo-yoed up and down like that without ever breaking through to a new height?  If so, please explore your beliefs about success.

Keep in mind success and failure is in the same direction. It is a necessary part of success. If you want great success you have to be humble enough to fail more times than those who are mediocre. And note, never to take advice or criticism from people who are mediocre. They lack the wisdom that failure and faith teaches.

The holy scriptures talk about mediocrity as people being damned. A damn stops water from flowing. Likewise, if a student of anything settles with the status quo and refuses to progress further, then that is the true definition of failure.

Mediocrity is defined as being in the middle, complacent and not progressing. Mediocrity is the opposite of success and failure.  It may seem like a temporarily ‘safe’ and ‘comfortable’ but as everything moves and changes, overtime mediocrity will cause a lot of pain and discomfort as your comfort zone closes in on you.

What stops people from allowing themselves to grow is the fear of being frustrated. We have a false belief that we can’t do things so we remain in our comfort zone to be safe. These people look too far beyond the next few steps and think they have to achieve the big success immediately.

The secret is to just step outside the current comfort zone a little bit, master that next thing and then move further. We grow precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. The author Jeff Olsen calls it the Slight Edge which is also the name of his book.

To put it in context let’s use an educational example. In grade school, if a child was reading at a level 5, the teacher would give that child a level 6 book to practice with. The level 6 book is only slightly more difficult than the child’s current ability. It is the perfect book in the instructional zone of this child. He/she may come across some difficult unfamiliar words once in a while. These small challenges offer an opportunity to grow. Before long the level 6 becomes easy for this child and he/she makes no mistakes reading any text on this level. At this point, the child has mastered level 6 reading and is ready to be challenged in the next level. Most children are eager for this new challenge because the know they can master this next level too. If a child on level 5 were to pick up a level 10 book, he/she would be frustrated, overwhelmed and discouraged. The level 10 would be considered the firustational level for this child.

If we apply this to life, we should be reassured that all that is asked of us is to take the next step and master that step well. When God deems us ready, a new challenge is presented to us. Our perspective should be to assume that this is for our own good and be excited about mastering this new level of growth. I know that I am only expected to do something small towards mastering this new challenge is all. This is a great skill to develop. In our home, my children have learned how to learn like this. Take small action steps with the faith that you will be guided and provided for along the way.

True and lasting happiness comes from progression along your life’s path. Your heart and soul will sing with delight letting you know you are heading the right direction.