Why is Self-Love So Important?

Have you learned to truly love yourself?  I believe that if each person develops a healthy self-love we will have a much happier and safer world.  The results or fruits of your life should give you a clue as to the degree of love you have for your yourself.  It is so important because it helps you be YOU!  When you know who you are, then it is easier for you to have peace in your heart.  With a healthy self-love, you know what you want, what you stand for and where you want to go.  People will then adjust to you being you.

Having a good sense of self-love will:

• Help our body absorb more nutrients.
• Our body eliminates more toxins.
• We become happier and our mood is more stable.  Less anxiety, stress and depression.
• We remember to take better care of our body better. We eat, sleep, and think better.
• We have positive self talk.
• We see solutions and become more creative at solving problems.
• We live life to our potential because we answer only to God.
• We attract more power & abundance (more friends, money, time and resources).

Not having a good sense of self-love will:

• Create a lot of drama and blame in your life.
• Co-dependency and draining relationships.
• Self-sabotage and lack of endurance/commitment.
• Fear of rejection (because you’ve rejected yourself your heart energy sends out ‘reject me’ messages)
• Often you fear disappointing and let people down. And you end up doing just that!
• Negative self talk that may lead to self-sabotage, depression or even suicide.
• Gut problems which leads to many inflammatory health issues.
• Self-critical and intolerant. Caring too much about what others think.

Clarification

I feel that there is a little bit of confusion in our world about self-love.  Self-love is NOT being selfish or self-centered.

Ever since we were little, most of us were taught not to be SELFISH!  We were taught to be selfless and put others first.  With our childlike understanding, we began to minimize ourselves and put others above us.  To make sure we apply this teaching well, we over-compensate by putting ourselves down and not think of ourselves at all ~in a way it is self-abuse.  This just leads us to feeling bad about ourselves because the self feels neglected and betrayed.  Would you short change another child of God like you do yourself??  No!  In case you think that self-criticism is humility think again.  This self betrayal is a form of selfishness.  Why?  Because it is still focusing on the SELF too much.

The negative feelings held inside over time will develop into health problems and other life problems and that should give you a clue that you should go about it in a different way.

The lesson we were meant to understand was to be considerate!  Self-abuse, self-loathing, self-punishment and self-hatred wasn’t the intention of our parents or church leaders’ teachings or God’s teachings.  What makes it especially bad is that generations after generations our parents and grandparents have passed down their limited version of being selflessness to us.  All this self-abuse is compounded over the years.  What could have been a virtue is now a vice.  We end up being very conflicted and unhappy.

God wants us to be HAPPY!

Jesus gave us the simple steps to happiness when he gave the two great commandments. There is power in these two commandments about love. When you master these two commandments the rest of the commandments will be satisfied too.

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (Matt 22:37-40)

5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. (Deuteronomy 6:5)

Loving God allows us to have a clear connection to Him. We will see how precious we are to Him. With all that love energy we will recognize and respect the divinity within ourselves and others. When we have deep love and respect others we won’t hurt or wrong them in any way.

30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.  —Mark 12:30-31

This means you can and must love yourself.  How can you fully love others completely, unconditionally when you don’t know how to love yourself?  The love we think we are giving to others is HOLLOW and has no substance if we don’t have love for ourselves.  The more mature thing to do is love yourself unconditionally like God does by LOVING GOD first!  Loving God means you connect to him.  You connect to God through humble prayer and surrendering your will (basically your limited understanding) and trust in God’s will.  Releasing control like that will help you find your TRUE SELF again.

Pure LOVE

I had a lot of gut issues for a long time.  The gut problems led to Eczema, Asthma, Allergies, Acne, sinus problems, weight gain and more!   To resolve this problem, I had to find out why I had that gut problem in the first place.  I discovered the root of it was anxiety and stress.  Digging deeper, I discovered the anxiety and stress is a form of fear.   Fear of not being enough.  The antidote to fear is always FAITH.  Faith means trusting myself to God so I can feel safe, loved and I am enough.  It boils down to the CHOICE of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally by me and by God (Universe or Divine power).  Just choose it.  That’s it.  When you have that sufficient love, you see who you are (A Child Of God) and want to fulfill that role well so naturally you reach out and serve humanity.  You’ll learn more about who you are the more you reach out to share that love.

The Savior taught His disciples,

“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24).

It is like being plugged into God and we are so filled with love we want to share that love with others.  You help others plug into God too for their never-ending love energy source.  God doesn’t make it complicated.

Self-Love vs. Self-Esteem: Your Choice!

I use to think self-love is high self-esteem.  The difference is all about comparison and self-judgement.  With self-esteem whether high self-esteem or low self-esteem we are comparing. 

When we use the World’s arbitrary measuring tools of measuring, the result is we are either one-up or one-down compared to another.  This is acting from a space of scarcity!  Neither high or low self-esteem brings anyone peaceful lasting happiness.

The world’s measuring tools are exclusive because there is just one that is the biggest, best, tallest, smartest, prettiest COMPARED to other people.  Everyone else is EXCLUDED.  Only one person can be on top.  It’s a confusing subjective way to gauge your worth.

We will never ‘measure up’ because these invisible standards keep changing and there will always be someone better than you in some way.  The truth is, when we are caught up in this our happiness is attached to some obscure invisible man-made standard of being that can not be obtained in this life.  Remember, comparison kills joy!

Working hard to find high self-esteem, to prove yourself by listing ‘worldly reasons why’ you are ok and good enough is exhausting.  That feeling is exhaustion should be a clue that we are going about this all wrong!

The other reason why we feel drained and exhausted is because we betray ourselves by trying to conform and fit in.  Self-esteem takes away from yourself and your divine identity. 

Pretend you have high SELF-ESTEEM then that means others are LESS than you right?  This is NOT God’s way.  It is competing, dividing and excluding.  It is scarcity.  Being high at the expense of another doesn’t feel good to me.  It can cause a lot of jealousy, coveting, and judgmental thoughts.  It is being selfish; focusing the limited energy of self ignoring God’s hand in your achievement.  Eventually we will discover how insufficient we are on our own being unconnected to God.  We end up miserable still anyways without a deeper sense of self-acceptance measured with God’s measures.

I hope you can see that self-esteem is not a healthy self love as God intended.  Trying to fit in is different to being accepted for being yourself.  Staying on the wheel of high or low self esteem will never bring you lasting happiness and peace.  The only way to achieving self-love is to accept yourself fully by loving yourself the way God loves you!  When you have done so, the universe seems to fall in love with you too.

As I pondered the myth of self-esteem, I was shown a picture of my children in my mind.  God said, ‘Look at your children.’  Then I got it.  I want you to imagine this with me.

Think of the day you held your first born in your arms.  If you don’t have children yet, pretend with me.  The day that I birthed my first child.  I held her in my arms.  An overwhelming sense of love rushed over me.  How can I have so much love for someone I just barely met?  I could do anything to provide for and protect this small person.  She didn’t need to earn love or deserve that love in any way and I still love her anyways!  WHY?  Because she is MINE!  That was my answer.  Bingo!!

You and I are loved by God simply because you are His son or His daughter.  You are His!! Realizing this truth, I instantly started crying a relieving cry.  A divine love of myself developed.  I began to love me the way God loves me.  It isn’t difficult at all to love yourself when you are connected to God.

My children are not perfect.  They are still growing and learning.  They have weaknesses but it is ok because I still love them regardless.

When children first begin to learn how to walk, they wobble funny as they take their first steps.  They often fall down but they get back up again.  They won’t be perfect walkers immediately but that doesn’t matter.  You know that soon they will grow up and improve and change yet again but in other ways.  You love them every step of their progression.  

Likewise, God loves you as you progress.  You are loved to regardless of your weaknesses.

Self-love is loving yourself regardless simply because you are God’s child. There is no comparison or judgment.  You don’t need to be perfect for God to love you.  You don’t need to be the best, most, or any kind of superlative to be loved. 

Can you see how liberating self-love is? 

Having said that, it doesn’t mean you should be passive and do nothing.  In fact, God expects much of you.  He expects us to honor ourselves and our calling.  When you come from this space, you can easily love others for where they are at.  We are more tolerant, kind, patient, understanding, and accepting. 

We don’t feel like hurting others in anyways.  The infinite ‘thou shall not’ commandments doesn’t need to be spelled out now because you understand the spirit of those commandments is simply about loving and respecting each other.

The difference between worthiness and self-worth

Before I made the choice to love myself, I just couldn’t fathom why God would love me.  I didn’t deserve it!  I haven’t done anything to earn it.  As much as I hungered for it, I wondered how can anyone could love me?

I listed all my flaws and all the reasons why I wasn’t good enough.  That didn’t make me happier!

We have great worth because of our potential.  Just as a seed has worth.

Sometimes we play God and judge our self-worth because we confuse it with worthiness.  Why should we play God and judge ourselves worthy or unworthy today when we are still in the middle of our journey still relying on our limited wisdom?

We can just accept and love ourselves unconditionally now the way God has made us. Trust that there is a loving reason why we were born where we were born.  There is a reason why we look the way we look.  Be grateful and be content with what you have been given.  Serve with what gift and talents you are given.  There is no need to compare.  Comparison or judge shows your lack of gratitude for what God has given you.

Since I’ve learned that truth, I can see my own beauty.  My body healed faster.  My relationships strengthened.  My financial situation improved.  I allowed God to bless me.  I worked on releasing self-imposed limitations as I find them.  It has been a liberating and joyful journey.

So Self-love isn’t selfish.  It is accepting yourself as a child of God.  It is stepping into your place in God’s world and being a good steward.  You see what God has given you and now you can maximize what you’ve been given gratefully without blaming, comparison or complaining.

Worthiness is about what you choose to do with your power of choice.  Are you choosing to open yourself up to attract positive energy or negativity energy? God wants to bless us with all good things but our freedom to choice determines our own level of light.  We are of great worth because of our potential but we are the one who need to choose it.  God will love us no matter what but by natural laws that God can’t and won’t interfere with, you and I have to CHOOSE our own level of worthiness.

Love leads to happiness.

How Can We Develop More Self-Love? 

1. Choose to change false beliefs and negative self talk
2. Look for and collect evidence to support your new beliefs of self love
3. Use Essential oils to help you hold positive heart energy
4. Focus on your strengths and accept your weaknesses

Choose to change false beliefs and negative self-talk

We operate from a belief system in our subconscious.  Ask yourself questions to get down to the root belief levels.  The most important belief are:

• You are a Child of God.
• You have great worth.
• You have the power to CHOOSE.
• You have all the help you need when you are connected to our divine power source.
• You can be successful if you choose.

 

Believing you are a child of God will toss out other false beliefs.  It helps you open up your heart to be loved just because you are YOU.

Use Essential oils

Here are some oils to help you find out who you truly are.  When you know who you are, you can develop more self love.  Then you will be able to step up to live the way you ought to, with power, love, and light. Use these oils daily.  Apply over your heart and smell them.

Black Pepper: Black Pepper is the oil of unmasking.  It helps you take off that mask and show the world who you really are.  God loves you every step of the way.  God loves you for all your flaws.  Smell it, drink it, rub it and allow yourself to be more self-aware and courageous.  Be yourself and love even the ‘dark side’ of you.

Lavender:  This oil helps you open up, relax and stop hiding.  You can freely express yourself now without worrying about what others may think of you.  When you love and accept yourself, you will see that others love and accept you too.  You no longer fear rejection because you no longer reject yourself.  Smell it, drink it, and rub it.

Coriander: Coriander helps you be true to yourself.  Absorb the sweetness of your life and you will attract more sweetness.  Be guided by your inner light.  You can and should be unique.  You add your version to the bouquet of talents in the world.  You do not have to be who other’s are and definitely don’t need to please everyone.  Smell it, drink it, and rub it.

Geranium: Geranium reminds you to trust yourself.  You’ve got this.  Your inner light will shine through as you love and trust yourself.   You are sweet too.  Be tolerant of your flaws and differences.  You will be more patient and tolerant of others.  Relax and let go of frustration and inner conflict. Smell it, drink it, and rub it.

Rose:  This is the oil of Divine love.  Feel God’s love.  Smell it and rub it all over yourself.  Allow yourself to be loved all over.  You want to shower your children with everything good right?  So does God but He loves you even more so then you love your kids.  Your job is to RECEIVE His love!  Work on it and allow yourself to be healed.  It isn’t that difficult.    

Magnolia: This is the oil of compassion.  Magnolia helps you feel connected and kind to your higher self.  Be you!

Here are some good affirmations to use:

>>It is safe for me to be me!

>>I am comfortable being me.

>I am very interested in learning all about me and getting to know myself better

>>I love and accept myself fully.

>>I can take off the mask now and just be me.

Focus on your strengths and love your weaknesses 

Remember you have choices so choose to simply focus on your strengths and not so much on your weaknesses.  Recognize your weaknesses but don’t attach your lack of happiness to it.  You are human.  God has given us weaknesses to remind us to be humble and connect to Him for power and strength.  Take the Strength Finder test if you don’t know your strengths.

Show gratitude for the perfection of your life.  You will find that the loose threads you thought had no place, fits perfectly in the tapestry that God is weaving for you.  Show appreciation for all the things.  Even the ‘bad’ things are perfect to help you learn lessons.  Sometimes when we fall on our faces, it is a good thing to help us remember to make needed changes so we don’t continue on with life passively.

Conclusion

Be mindful of self-love.  This heart energy will attract like energy.  You will know by the fruits or results of this energy if it is a good fruit or a bad one.  Use that as a clue to adjust and adapt.  Keep working on this and you’ll be better and happier each day.