How to Help Your Children NOT have FOMO

The ‘Natural’ Parent

What can we do to reduce children fighting with each other?  How can we help children be confident and create healthy friendships?  Why do some children struggle to understand ‘fairness’ when other children are not?  As much as the parents try to be ‘fair,’ the children still can’t see the fairness!  Why?

Are all kids troublesome like this?  Do we all need to struggle and squabble like this?  No.  Is there a way to help our children not have FOMO where they stop comparing, competing, blaming, and fighting with one another?  YES!!

I truly believe that solutions to most of life’s problems are simple and it is always found within.  God gives simple solutions and instructions to humans throughout history for all our problems.  When looking for solutions, us humans often over complicate life and often look ‘beyond the mark.’¹

As a school teacher and a long time youth teacher at church, I am often sad to watch some children experience a fear of missing out.  In our modern day language, this emotion is often referred to as FOMO.  The distress and discomfort of these children (I’m not talking about babies and infants) are unnecessary and disruptive to those around them.  On the other hand, I have seen children who are the same age thriving and getting along very well.  What’s the difference between these two groups of children?

I’ve often prayed and pondered over what might be the underlying cause for such negative behaviors.  It is a very natural human behavior driven by certain beliefs.  And most behavior and beliefs are learned in the home.  I truly believe that parents have great power and can help influence their children’s behavior.

Recently, I heard Dr Justin Coulson, an author of bestselling family and parenting books², quote, ‘The natural parent is an enemy to children.’   He was referring to an adaptation of the Book of Mormon scripture,

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, ….” ~ Mosiah 3:19

I understand this reference to mean; parent’s behaviors if not in harmony, aligned or connected to God, can cause harm to their children.  We can easily see how ‘damaging’ that self-focused FOMO tendency increases as children grow up.  It can interfere with and can cause devastating damage to their future relationships with all humans including and especially with future spouses and future children.  Self-focused FOMO and similar fear emotions are truly an enemy to children.

Children with FOMO are unhappy and unable to create strong bonds and relationships with other children.  This can lead to depression, self-rejection, jealousy, comparing, unkindness, blaming, intolerance and extended immaturity.

I noticed much of the relationship problems of humans stems from our lack of a strong relationship with God our divine maker and Father.  Heavenly Father has already given us simple instructions to help us become more mature and happy.

Before I go further, I just want to make it clear that I am no family counsellor, no psychologist nor doctor of any sort.  As I received my education as an educator of children, I studied child psychology, childhood development, family and marriage and many other elective subjects.  I love learning and continue to learn after I graduated university.  I love learning so much that I would have been an ‘eternal student’ had it not been for the fact that I needed to graduate and focus more on raising my children.  So take what I say however you like.  As I applied the simple inspired teachings of God, I have found great success in raising my own children and in helping the students I teach (children and adults).  This is why, I feel inspired to share what I know.

Let’s finish reading the rest of the scripture I mentioned above.

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” ~ Mosiah 3:19

The Solution Is Simple

The antidote gleaned from this scripture is that we need to connect to God by feeling the Holy Spirit, get rid of the natural human tendency (of self-focused FOMO), surrender to God’s teachings and be filled with LOVE.  The antidote to any fear emotion is faith in God.  Everything else, all the details will be taken care of when we have this divine center (core belief).

This is another reason why the two greatest commandments of God is so important. This tells us how we can be filled with God’s love.

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” ~ Mark 12: 30-31

1. When love God and have faith in Him, we will understand that He will provide us with ALL we need and many of our wants.  He is generous and abundant.  We will never miss out on anything that is meant to be ours.  We will be FILLED with His energy of love and we will be enlightened.
2. When we allow ourselves love ourselves sufficiently, we are able to RECEIVE all the blessings and abundance of this earth.  Our heart will be happy and not only satisfied but overflowing.  With that energy of overflowing love, we automatically become generous and outward thinking.  We want to give because we’ve been given so much.  We see beyond ourselves and desire others to feel that satiety, peace and contentment that we feel.

 

So let’s go back to the original question.  Is there a way to help our children not have FOMO where they stop comparing, competing and fighting with one another?  YES!!

Here is my simple suggestion:

1. Parents have to keep the two greatest commandments to love God and love themselves unconditionally and set the example of keeping those two commandments through their ACTIONS.
2. Parents practice and model outward thinking and community minded.  This means parents demonstrate being considerate and generosity by serving each other and other people.

 

My Story

I am infinitely grateful for parents who taught me many wonderful inspired principles.  My dad taught me gratitude by thanking divine powers for all our blessings especially during times of poverty and struggle.  He showed this contentment about life by his actions as he shared what we had with others.

My parents sacrificed and saved money and regularly sent money back to Vietnam to help others who were even less fortunate than them.  As young children, my siblings and I went without a lot of things and we were encouraged to learn patience and sacrifice for other’s sakes.

My mother demonstrated this outward thinking and community mindedness by paying attention to the detailed needs of others.  My mother made clothing, food and served others in a variety of ways.  She did it willingly with anticipation of bringing joy to the other person.  I noticed that she found meaning and satisfaction when she could do that.  Very often they were found busy doing something for others.

Both my parents loved their many siblings and parents deeply through actions and sometimes words.  They were and are loved and cared for in return.  Our clan grew abundantly and was blessed in many ways.  Within two decades almost all my relatives living in Australia owned their own homes and businesses.  Some now owns admirable investment portfolios.  This unity and love for one another caused our clan to ‘adopt’ others as we expanded our love.  They all tried to help each other in each others businesses and supported each other in their other endeavors.  It was truly the ‘All for one and one for all’ spirit.  Each doing their part according to their own abilities.

For example, one aunt became a single mother with four children.  The family rallied together and within a short time, that aunt had a new house of her own and a new car to drive.  My dad was a handy man and carpenter so he helped renovate her house.  My aunt had a new kitchen, bathroom, and floors.  Other family members helped in a million other ways to help this particular aunt.

This is one of many examples of people being grateful to deity, giving and receiving love one to another.  My parents and their siblings retired early within a few years of each other.  They often travel and holiday together.  They also do humanitarian work together.  On a weekly basis they eagerly come together, eat, pray and do Buddhist meditation together.  They are not perfect humans but they are close to it in my eyes!  They have very little misunderstanding and dramas between them.  I see how God blesses those who keep His commandments.  I can see how happiness and peace is very possible.

With this great example of strength and unity, my siblings and I were encouraged to love one another deeply too.  We saved and shared treats with one another.  We were happy for each other’s accomplishments and encouraged each other through trials.  To this day, we are still very close and I only enjoy ‘treats’ whenever there were people to share it with.  We celebrated every little event.  We contact and talk almost daily.

My mother’s family has 10 siblings and their children.  My dad’s family has 9 siblings and their children.  Just my dad’s side alone, those who are living in Australia, we have well love 70 members and guess what, among them, there are zero divorces between them all!  I know of no divorces on my mum’s side either, most of whom are living in Vietnam.  Yes, there have been a few remarriages due to death of spouses but that is a great and exceptional record right?

There is such a wonderful sense of loyalty that comes from this maturity.  My cousins are trying to follow the examples of my parents and siblings too.

I often see the children mirroring what the parents do.  Some parents who have relationship problems with themselves and their siblings produce children who fight with one another.  This is because their focus is on competing, comparing and blaming each other in a lose-lose battle.  Children watch and see all this disloyalty and perpetuate a life of unnecessary dramas to satisfy the need of love, importance, and belonging.  No amount of punishment, discipline or lecturing will change the children unless the parent’s change their own actions.  If parents continue to fight to be above their sibling, spouse, workmate or friend they will NEVER EVER satisfy the human need for love, importance, and belonging in fact is creates the opposite result.  Instead it causes contention, rejection, scarcity & victim mentality.  All these things could have easily been satisfied by following God’s two greatest commandments where we all can get a never ending supply of love, importance, and belonging.

If we as parents, don’t make these changes as parents, our children will not have a good example to learn from.  Sadly, they will struggle and have to figure it out on their own later on.  God will undoubtedly help them find these solutions but it would have been great for parents to have figured that out early on.

It may take a while for those who haven’t started out this way to establish the emotional maturity to create strong relationship bonds but it isn’t impossible.  With God we can do anything.  We must work on fixing that ‘natural man’ inside of us now so that we don’t become an ‘enemy’ to our children’s happiness and peace.  Our family relationships, our health, and our employment depend on it.  Can you imagine what a peaceful world we will live in if everyone just simply follows the two greatest commandments?

As a mother, I feel the greatest thing I can teach my children, is to connect to God’s love.  When they are connected to His love they can easily receive His love, light and healing.  Beyond the skills of learning how to read, write, make friends, drive a car, play the piano, balance a budget and chores etc. learning this skill of connecting to God far outweighs it all.  God will guide them to learn all those skills and more beyond your human ability as a parent to teach them.  This is how we can produce confident secure children!  It is awesome.  God is great!!

The more I do Energy Healing on people the more I notice that the family relationship problems, the health problems and financial problems all can be resolved by keeping God’s two greatest commandments.  When people don’t take the time to reconnect to God in this way, they just keep getting the same problems over and over again.   They wait till something out there changes such as if the spouse changes, or the kid is more obedient, or the boss is nicer AND THEN they will be finally happy but that will never happen if they don’t choose to change themselves.

Essential Oil Suggestions

Essential oil suggestions to help you change feelings, thoughts and beliefs:

1. Comparing & Competing: Pink Pepper
2. Jealousy & unhealthy attachments: Lemongrass, Oregano
3. Self-love: Bergamot, Cassia, Cinnamon, Kumquat, Magnolia
4. Abundance: Wild Orange, Clementine
5. Connecting to God’s love: Rose, Sandalwood, Neroli, Frankincense
6. Wisdom & Maturity: Melissa, Roman Chamomile
7. Adopting more Joy & Contentment: Jasmine, Myrrh, Blue Lotus,

Ideas to have more unity:

1. Put on positive lenses and see only the good in other
2. Get to know yourself.  Love and accept yourself for who you are now.
3. Serve others from the heart.  We fall in love with those we serve.
4. List out the good God has done for you.  Have a gratitude, you and give meaningfully.

 

I hope you liked this article.  Please comment below what you think.

 

Would you like to chat with me?  Please book an Energy Balancing session.

 

1. Jacob 4:14
2. Dr Justin Coulson’s books: 21 Days to a Happier Family, 9 Ways to a Resilient Child and 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know.