Many years ago, I was made aware of the Martyr Mama Syndrome. In many ways, I saw myself doing it too. When I learned how to get out of it, I wanted to liberate other mothers too. When we change this mentality, we bless our family and society immensely.
The solution really comes down to creating and having a strong relationship with God, having a clear understanding of truth and of our true divine identity. There are 6 fundamental human needs that we should satisfy by connecting to God. When we are aware of the destructive ways we are fulfilling those needs in our role as a mother, we can change them to constructive ways. It is very doable. We just need to adopt some new positive truths and practice applying it.
We all need to be important and loved. When we go to God to fulfill these needs, we do not need to subconsciously get it from attracting drama, playing the victim role to get sympathy and attention. But no humans can fill a void that is meant to be filled by God.
When we love God first and fill up our souls we can easily see who we really are that we love ourselves the way God does. Then because we have an overflowing energy of love, we naturally desire to love others deeply and genuinely.
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
~ Matthew 22:37–39
It is silly but we sometimes subconsciously use the sympathy from others as a way to feel a connection and therefore somewhat satisfying a need for love. Even though we may say we want to be happier, it doesn’t happen because there is an inner conflict. We hold onto the martyrdom if we are still benefiting from the dramas and sufferings, so naturally we can not let ourselves raise our tolerance of joy which may eliminate the dramas and sufferings. We may want joy but we still need the drama to feel that need for love and connection.
The self-deception in the Martyr Mama Syndrome is that we think the suffering mother behavior is necessary to appear like you are a good mother. We deceive ourselves thinking we are doing something noble and praiseworthy when we suffer like that. ‘If you are not working extra hard then you are not putting enough effort into motherhood’ is a bad message to send to your children. It discourages children to want to be parents in the future, and makes children feel guilty existing since they are the cause of your many struggles. That unbalanced behavior is not the definition of selflessness, like many may think. In reality it is a form of manipulation. You know it is a manipulation because it is draining you and draining others as energy is pulled and taken from people. You will find that in your relationships, there is no mutual positive equal energy exchange.
On the other hand, here is a better way to do life and motherhood. Instead of the scarcity mentality, consider making choices where all parties win. You have probably already heard of the win-win approach before but maybe have not applied it to motherhood. As we awaken to ourselves and become more aware of our feelings and thoughts, we can take more time to make intentional choices.
God is abundant. There is plenty of time, resources, and love for all. We can choose not to react and instead respond in a way that is mutually energizing. This is how zion feels, I bet. When all parties are edified by each other we have a great union or oneness. For example, ‘if mama does this…., will you do this…?’ That way the giving and receiving energy flows back and forth. This is what I call equal energy exchange. It teaches the children to be considerate and loving. It helps the children feel valued and not a burden. It may even help the children anticipate the future with joy when they can have the privilege of raising their own children one day.
As we learn to be a better receiver of divine messages, we are then able to be taught to progress. True humility is simply allowing yourself to receive divine light and knowledge and then acting in accordance to those inspired promptings. True humility is trusting in the divine process. Ask yourself, can you give God the benefit of the doubt that He knows what He is doing and that all things are designed for our benefit and learning? Humility isn’t about putting yourself down and insisting on being last and least. We simply need to be wholeheartedly willing to submit to God’s refining fire so we can reach our highest potential.
When we have a stronger connection to God, we feel His promptings regularly. That connection helps us have the inner power to cheer ourselves up and give us added support without needing to constantly draw that energy from others. The humble people can feel the promptings of the Holy Spirit of God and respond quickly to it. Interestingly, I’ve observed that people just want to support and give encouragement to those who are humble and great at receiving not taking.
As we collaborate like this we are truly practicing heaven on earth. We are creating peace in the world. Let’s move closer to God and act as inspired for the pure intent of loving others.
This is my greatest desire to create peace in the world from within each individual. It can be achieved when people learn how to heal themselves with skills to balance their energy. Balancing energy is simply learning how to realign ourselves to our divine path.
Energy Balancing with Faith
If you are interested in self healing at the spiritual and emotional levels, I encourage you to take the Energy Balancing with Faith course. This is an inspired course to help you hone your faith-filled personal development skills. This is energy balancing using essential oils and other tools. Release the subconscious self-imposed limitations. Help yourself and others live an intentionally happier, healthier, and holier life.
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