I know that I can be my biggest obstacle to success!  Do you feel the same way too?  We all want success right?  So why do we get in our own way of success and self sabotage?

Today I want to share some reasons why I believe we get in our way.  Hopefully it will help you the way it has helped me.  Remember what you learn here will mean nothing if you don’t put what you learn into action.

Gage your progress by your results

Beliefs >> Thoughts >> Feelings >> Actions >> Results

If you are getting the results you don’t like, you need to review a few things.  We need to go backward and look at the emotions, thoughts and beliefs that have led us to taking those actions or inactions.

Look for patterns of actions and self sabotage in your past to reveal false beliefs.

Most people want to succeed, but something in their belief system is getting in their way.

What is getting in their way?  I believe it is unresolved SUBCONSCIOUS FEARS that get in their way. 

This subconscious fear causes a lot of self-sabotage.  Self sabotage is like keeping the umbrella up even when the rain has stopped and the sun is shining.  You stop yourself from feeling the discomforts of fear, you stop yourself from feeling the joys of success too by not allowing yourself to experience the ebbs and flows of life.

Step back, be still, and refocus

It helps to step back, be still, and refocus.  Find out what is this unresolved subconscious fear(s) that gets in our way?  If we don’t identify it and resolve it, we will constantly attract obstacles and distractions.  These problems will repeat like Groundhogs Day until we get it the message.

The BIGGEST fear we have is actually pride!  Pride is subconsciously forgetting to be connected to God and masking a deep fear of not being good enough.  Of course we aren’t good enough and strong enough without God.  Our subconscious has a core belief of being inadequate making us sensitive to anything that remotely hints at our inadequacies.  Remember this is subconscious and we are unaware of this pride.  This fear (pride) causes us to avoid situations and people who might cause us to be vulnerable.

We protect ourself from revealing this fear unfortunately by self sabotaging our success in any way.  One way of self sabotaging is to make lot’s of ‘valid’ excuses.  Another way is to keep busy and distracted.   So now we avoid the discomforts of success.  The journey of success is paved with discomforts, stumbling blocks of mistakes and vulnerabilities.  We have to pass through discomforts of failures to get to a place of true happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  The easiest and fastest way is as soon as we recognize the pride, connect to God that pride disappears.  We can replace that fear with faith and trust.  Over and over we just have to remind ourselves of this.

As soon as I feel that fear and discomfort, it is a sign to start realigning my life again.   We can start by eliminating distractions and simply doing simple important productive tasks.

This reminds me of  Stephen Covey’s teachings about Urgent vs. Important.  We want to have as little to do urgently as we can.  Many people fight fire with fire and constantly work in Quadrant 1.  You want to move over to Quadrant 2 and operate from there as much as possible.  Recognize that you need to plan more effectively if you are constantly overwhelmed and taking care of urgent problems and situations.

Here is a chart to help you see where you are at, where you can go, and what you can let go of.

When we are in Quadrants 1, 3 and 4, our vision is reduced and very limited. We can’t see a way out because we are so caught up in our own problems.  Put a drop of Sandalwood and Clary Sage on your 3rd eye and repeat to yourself. “I can see solutions and success.”  Rub Cardamom Oil on your tummy to help you be objective and disconnect with your pride as you change.

Quadrant 3

Lemongrass and Cilantro oils will help you let go of the need to do hold on to tasks that are unimportant but urgent (Quadrant 3).  Let these things go.  If they are not important, don’t do them no matter how urgent they are.

An example is someone wanting you to send them research on a particular oil, or health concern because they are skeptical.  The same goes with answering emails of people who are skeptical and not bothered to do the research themselves.  You want to help them be convinced, and it may seem urgent, but it isn’t that important to your success actually.  I either don’t answer these people, or I send them a link with answers and delegate the learning back over to them!

Quadrant 4

If something is unimportant and not urgent (Quadrant 4 – time wasters), eliminate it all together.  This goes with thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, too.

Quadrant 1

Items in Quadrant 1 are crises, they arise usually because you have not spent enough time in Quadrant 2.  These are the things that were neglected because you were wasting time in Quadrant 3 and 4.  Sometimes crises may arise no matter how good you are, but there is much you can do to greatly reduce them.  Take a moment and plan.  If you want to get off this ‘Groundhogs day merry-go -round’, then it is time to figure out what you want and clearly know where you are going.

Quadrant 2

Spending time in Quadrant 2 is moving your life in a direction you have determined.  This is you scheduling the important things into your life.  If you don’t schedule the tasks that build your future, the agenda of others will schedule and determine your actions, your life and ultimately your future.  So stay in Quadrant 2 by taking initiative and scheduling your mission, purpose, and goals into your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly plans.  And follow through by staying true to you.

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Some questions you may want to ask yourself:

1. If money, health, and time wasn’t an issue, what do I want my life to look like?
2. What is my ideal day, week, month?
3. What brings me joy?
4. What is my special gift to the world?
5. How do I want to live my life?

In other words, what is the purpose or mission of your life.

Identify Your Fears

It is hard for us to see what we don’t know about.  When we are uncomfortable in some way, that is a clue as to where to start identifying fears.  If we can’t see our fears, we can’t change and get out of our own way.

There is a popular saying, “Feel the fear and do it anyways.”  This is the title of a book by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway.  Successful people see opportunities and push through the fears.

Action is a cure for fear.  Changing our outlook will help us see solutions.  You will see actions that you can take now.  Break down your tasks and make an action plan.

1. Write down your thoughts and find the fears.  When you face them, plan solutions.  Then it doesn’t seem that bad.  Cardamom oil helps you see yourself and situation in a more objective way.
2. Resolve in your mind and heart that you will overcome this concern anyways.  Don’t wait for problems to go away.  Take a risk and try some solutions.  Smell Deep Blue the Soothing Blend for this activity.  THERE ARE SOLUTIONS TO EVERYTHING!  When we think positively we will find solutions.  If you aren’t seeing any solution, then you aren’t thinking positive. 
3. Get to know yourself and understand what your real limitations are and what your imagined limitations are.
4. Connect to God.  Imagined limitations leads us to make excuses to mask fears.  Fear is pride because it assumes that one has to do it all on her own.  Of course we can’t do it on our own.  Of course we feel weak and doubtful. In this state, we truly believe that we can’t do it.  And we are right.  When we feel weak and alone sometimes we consider our situation is extreme and uniquely unfortunate compared to everyone else’s.  We  think Somehow they have the shorter end of the stick.  We can use anything as an excuse and believe so strongly that our reason is valid.  Because we are distracted and focus on our self and our problems, we can’t see solutions to our problems.  Connecting back to God will help clear our minds and strengthen our hearts.  When you find the solution you feel a great sense of satisfaction.

In our dōTERRA business, here are some common excuses or lies we tell ourselves that cause us to get in our own way.  This is an accumulation of answers and solutions from several team leaders on our doTERRA team.

10 Lies we tell ourselves

1. I am not a sales person
Root problem: Pride. Worried about what others think of you.  Not seeing how you can bless others by promoting your message.  You don’t see the value in the products.  Not seeing your job as more than simple sales.
Some possible solutions:

• You need more product training until YOU are sold on the value and benefits! 
• Think and talk about the values and benefit of the products relevant to your audience.
• Believe in your meaningful message.  It should be almost a calling for you to continue momentum.
• Disconnect yourself from the outcome!
• Think kindly about, and do not judge sales people; then you won’t be judged.
• You will overcome this fear of sales the more you make yourself share the oils.

2. I don’t know a lot of people
Root problem: Pride.  Scared of making friends and socializing because you risk rejection because you’ve already rejected yourself.

Some possible solutions: 

• Develop a healthy self love.  Get to know yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  When you love yourself the way God loves you, more people will love you.
• You will make friends with friends and your circle of influence will grow.
• Go out and join a club, group, association, etc.
• You actually know more people than you realize.  Be aware of all the people you interact with on a day to day basis. For example: doctor, child’s teacher, neighbors, etc.
• Develop friend-making skills.  Smile, listen carefully to others, remember names, compliment others, look for commonalities, seek to understand and love others.

3. I want to, but I am too busy.  I don’t have time. When…then I will be able to….
Root problem: Don’t have a clear idea of what you want in life.  Haven’t organized priorities. Focused on can’t’s and obstacles.  Allowing distractions to validate and mask real fear.  Unorganized in your mind, so you become too overwhelmed to see how you can fit this business into your life even though you really want to.  Fear of change.

Some possible solutions:

• We all have 24 hours in a day.  Believe you are equally capable as everyone else to have control over your 24 hours.
• Identify what you REALLY want in your life.  What makes you happy?  What would you be doing if money wasn’t an issue for you?
• Identify your why?  What role does doTERRA play in your path?
• Make a list of your priorities.  Eliminate Quadrant 3 and 4 things.  Time block.  Put the important things down on your schedule.  If it is not important, don’t schedule it.  Stick to time schedules, and honor yourself.  Organize life with God’s help.  Learn life-management skills.
• Identify fear of change.
• Understand the power of the Slight Edge.  Even if I do a little bit each day, it will be worth it in the end when it is accumulated.

Root problem: Scarcity.  Caught in poverty mindset.  Self-imposed limitations.

Some possible solutions:

• Work on abundance thinking and mindset.
• Follow proper money management principles.  Consider reading the 4 Laws of Financial Prosperity (available from doTERRA).
• Starting a business like dōTERRA is one of the cheapest ways to build a business.
• Look for solutions such as sharing daily so that you get weekly Fast Start Commission to pay for your monthly orders!
• Ask yourself if money weren’t an issue, would you own these products? If not, then this is a value problem.  You can’t see the value in these products.
• Money is also a priority issue.  You will invest if it is important.  Can you see the benefits of replacing other products in the home as well?  What you will save in the end is more than money, its is saving you from health and emotional problems?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. I don’t know enough.  I am not good at …..
Root problem: Pride.  Fear of being vulnerable (looking stupid or that people won’t listen).  Don’t understand the Slight Edge principle of gaining and growing knowledge and skills so they don’t know how to commit to success.

Some possible solutions:

• Love self.  Connect to God and clear emotional baggage and generational issues.
• Be humble, vulnerable and real.  Be willing to learn.  Smell Cedarwood and Marjoram to help you remember you are like every other human being.  You are not less if others know you are just another human with problems!  You will allow others to relate to you more when you are vulnerable.
• Focus on your noble purpose to keep from focusing on self.  Be fiercely loyal to your dreams.  Commit to success no matter how painful it is at times.
• Use resources. Look things up in books together at a class. Ask for help from your up-line.
• Educate yourself more.  There are plenty of places to gain skills and knowledge.  Understand the Slight Edge principle of gaining and growing knowledge and skills.
• Confidence comes with experience.  Do at least 25 classes, so you can feel confident.  Believe you are equal and just as good as everyone else.  Confidence comes with only through learning, and learning means making mistakes as well.

6. I am not healthy, so why would anyone believe me
Root problem: Pride. Low self-love. Fear that people won’t believe them.  Lack of confidence.  They don’t trust themselves.

Some possible solutions:

• Start changing your lifestyle and share what successes you have.
• Most people like it when you are real!  Share only what you know.  Being honest also helps people connect more with us.
• Self-love cures judgmental thinking.  This frees you from fear of what others might think.
• Detox emotional issues with essential oils and energy healing.
• Be patient with yourself.  Own your own power.  Do not blame. Blame gives away your power and makes you a victim.
• Commit to serving people.  You will heal as you help others heal. Don’t be selfish.
• Release the false belief of needing to be perfect before you can do anything for anyone.   God qualifies those He calls.  Understand that you will always have some thing to deal with as this is life.  Each trial you learn to overcome gives you knowledge to share and teach others from your experiences as you become more healthy.

7. I need some proper money now, I can’t do this now…
Root problem: Panic. Fear.  Thinking short-term not long-term.  Not understanding and believing in the dōTERRA opportunity.  Not understanding how investment works.

• Understand money mindset.  Invest a little time now even when you are doing your day job.  Watch the Buckets Vs. Pipeline parable video.
• Study the compensation plan and opportunity.
• Make friends with the successful dōTERRA leaders to understand their beliefs.  Understand that dōTERRA blesses you with rewards on many levels, more than just financially.
• Commit to your dreams.
• Action, action, action even if it is small.  Give it all you’ve got until Silver rank then you will see momentum.  Your team will grow faster after that because you have leaders.

8. No one supports me, so I can’t go as fast as [so and so]
Root problem: Pride. Comparison, competition, and low self-worth/low self-love are all scarcity fear thinking and feelings.  Feeling alone.

Some possible solutions:

• Develop self love.  Believe you have the power to do all things with God’s help.  Faith is about action even though you don’t have support.
• Work at your own pace.
• Ask for others to support you by telling them your why/goals.
• Learn all you can and reach out to your up-line.
• Step out of your comfort zone and find an accountability partner or mentor.
• Positive outlook will help you see solutions such as going cross-line for support and attend more big events to learn from others.
• Smell Cilantro to let go of the need to attach yourself to someone for success.  Most people blame their spouse for not being supportive, so therefore they aren’t successful.  Drink Fennel and take responsibility for your choices and feelings.
• Connect to God, so you aren’t feeling alone.  Not being supported is a false belief.  What we think, we create in our lives.  Where our focus goes our energy flows.
• Love, connection, and unity are emotions of faith.

9. I work hard but nothing happens. I don’t know why?
Root problem: Pride.  Not working smart. Lack of understanding of business & time management.  Blaming.

Some possible solutions:

• Humble yourself and ask your up-line for help and training.  If you keep doing the same things and getting the same results, then think different.  You maybe doing something wrong.  Note: If you ask for help, you must put in as much effort as your up-line.  Don’t expect them to do it all.
• Leverage the help of others.  Work as a team.  Learn leadership skills.
• Be brave and try something different.  Record yourself speaking during a class or presentation. Objectively assess your performance.  Do you have the right excitement or passion in your voice? Are you connecting to people? Smell Cardamom to help you do this activity.
• Review your beliefs, mindset and invest in personal development books such as the Slight Edge.  Attend webinars, online trainings, classes, conventions etc.
• Businesses usually take a few years to get up and running.  You may be making progress and not realizing it because you aren’t recording.
• Perhaps you are not following a solid system.  Do it consistently, your own way, and model other successful people.
• Get back to basics, work through a checklist to ensure all steps are followed, re-training, one-on-one training to realign.

10. The oils/products don’t always work for me.  So I can’t sell something I don’t believe in.
Root problem: Not understanding of overall holistic approach. Pride and fear of rejection. Not using the products, not using frequently enough.  Not understanding how the body heals.
Some possible solutions:

• Believe the oils work.  Perhaps you just need to try a different oil.  Use a combination of oils to benefit from the synergy of the oils, do some more study/research on oils for that particular concern, get all the oils!
• Try to understand the underlying reasons for the issue. Learn more about the emotional side of the oils. Address the emotions behind the physical symptoms/concerns.
• Use the products.  Use them more and more frequently.
• Take full responsibility for your health.  Understand that health is a holistic-lifestyle approach: what we eat, drink, how we move and how much rest we have, how our brain thinks and how we allow yourselves to feel is all important aspects of health.

Take Action To Increase Confidence with Experience

Actions, actions, actions.  You can keep learning and learning and hiding behind the excuse of not knowing enough and always be in your own way.  The best way to truly learn is to take action.

Keep focusing on expanding your heart and know your purpose.  Your goals and dreams need to be big enough to motivate you.  Allow yourself to dream big.  Write as many details as possible.  Anytime a fear comes, you just face it and resolve it as much as you can in your mind but then act to solidify courage.  Don’t worry your heart will recover.

Faith overcomes fear.  Faith is an action word.  Let’s take action.

If others can do it, you can too.

Suggested Actions:

1. Pack your dōTERRA bag
2. Book classes and promote them
3. Pack samples
4. Get business cards
5. Make flyers
6. Contact friends from your prospect list
7. Talk to 2 people a day about oils
8. Track your progress
9. Be accountable to someone

Be >> Do >> Have

The fears are only excuses of false belief that we are victims and defeated.  Work on BEING successful in your mind.

You will be successful when you DECIDE you want to be successful.  Look at what you are attracting.  It will give you a clue as to what you maybe believing inside.  The results will help you gage when you’ve changed your broadcasting message.

Be successful in your mind and heart.  Do things that successful people do and then you will HAVE what successful people have.   What do they have?   An abundance of time, money, health, joy and peace.  Allow yourself to have an abundance of time, money, health, joy and peace NOW.

 

Conclusion

Take action anyways.  It is the best way to overcome fears so you can get out of your own way and get on with it!  Love yourself so you are strong enough to with stand any challenge.